I used to wish that I was the girl in princess bride who wesley would chase after and find love with after so many years apart, but I felt more like adventurous Wesley and even then I knew that I could never be a princess. Men and boys long for the Princess which I will never be. I'm much too play in the rain tumble and jump.
What remains from those years of childish yearning? A desire for someone to long for me as I long for them. Not just anyone and I never would go out and look for love or a relationship or any of those commercially pushed concepts of romanticism and directed coupling up. If I can't have the real thing than I don't want anything.
Usually the boys who chased after me would turn me off, but then somehow I evolved from primordial goo and decided that it could actually be relatively sweet being with someone who cared for me enough to not let go. I wanted to light up someone as they light me up with the mere sight of their face or sound of their voice.
Where are appleboy and I in this schemata? nowhere really. He does think of us as us but I'm having trouble letting go again of something else that inspires in me torrents of emotional ferver, and can't yet be a part of another us wholeheartedly.
Maybe I just watched Princess Bride too many times and need a re-education.
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