Thursday, August 20, 2009

mandarina nana

Angsty is the word that best describes my state of mind. I'm like the sorbet flavour at my local sicilian gelato shop that's got this mandarin base but then when you least expect it you get a hit of nana weed. It's like a bracing mint hiding until the last minute on your tongue. So Don Juan tells me how sunny and magnetic I am the other day, and I'm thinking to myself whatevs. He has no idea how weedy and full of nana I actually am. I am angst central, stress maximum and so exhausted mentally and physically that I have difficulty staying awake at all points during the day and night. So funny how people see what they want to see and rarely ever look deeper. It's so easy to catch the reflection of the superficial layer. I am a mandarin without the juice. Past due date but still on the shelf for lack of will to jump off and scurry away from purchasers. I'm not for sale. Some men want women for the simple fact of the birds and the bees or in other cases the bees and the bees and the birds and the birds or any assorted combination of beeirds. I'm not an insect and I can only fly like a bird if i run fast enough when I'm fresh enough. I wish I could get away and start working abroad tommorow but I'm drowning in commitments that have to be seen through first. Also, I don't know what I would do with the rest of my medical training. Would I finish in Africa and go straight to the U.S. to begin in June? Would I be able to finish my contract by June? Mandarina has lots more to think about.

8 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

Well, in my experience, a lot of men want to get laid, so they see the potential in the female and rate it along with physical attributes. Some guys get as far as my chest, some get stuck at the butt, and others can't move past the legs. I like men who look me in the eye.

Shawna said...

I live in the city of the one night stand. There's enough testosterone here to supplement an entire continent of the endocrine challenged. i thought it might work in my favour because I can't stand the thought of being in a relationship. But, it's irritating because every woman gets pushed to play the game and I realized that I can't force myself to play it since my mind is at every moment elsewhere. Men in the middle east are a unique breed.

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Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Shawna said...

You say hello... Hello, hello, I don't know why you say hello I say goodbye, hello;)

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