maybe i'm just premenstrual. politics swirl around me and i hear it or read it but am oblivious to it's effect today. i'm so uncharacteristically internal right now and it's like i ate a handful of pop rocks and drank diet coke creating internal fission.
i am so lucky to have such an amazing circle of close friends but at the same time after 7 months i can't seem to totally eliminate my ex from my mind. i don't know how not to feel bad and offer something, anything, an ear maybe. nope. I've got to hold myself back from calling not him but... I don't know. what am i to him now anyway ( not that I was anything before either i'm sure)? nothing. efes. denada. what about eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? I think about that quite a bit too. But which is worse.. deleting a mind completely or having the painful memories along with the beautiful ones?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Memories are always better, even with pain, but it doesn't always feel that way. 7 months is not a long time, especially if you really loved this person and it didn't end well. You are still healing.
I discovered your blog via your comment on mine..
I wish you the best of luck with your tabula rasa.
hey Nizo, your blog never fails to fascinate and draw me in...
thanks for the encouragement.
starting from ground zero every now and then refocuses me. After I dumped my archive, I didn't want to end up writing about my emotive philosophy or have it be a post mortem of bad relationships past. But, I guess somewhere tucked deep, these remnants of emotions run ramrod crave a regular rendezvous with my pen. I think soon my topics will evolve!
Enemy, I used to wish that i was the kind of person who could numb herself through the valleys of life. I'm not. But now I actually think I'm lucky to have the ability to feel so deeply. At least I know I'm alive and kicking :-)
Post a Comment