Chanukah in July

i've been ruminating a lot lately because it seems that when things start to flow, they really gain momentum. it's like all it takes is some consistently applied effort. Even if there isn't instant gratification, for me there often isn't, within time the benefits will be there.

When I broke up with ex, it felt like my whole life was in upheaval and he did his best to really shoot me down throughout the relationship and long afterward in my vulnerability despite my love for him (so bizarre to have felt this kind of love for someone despite being treated so awfully). So I basically kept forcing myself to suck it up and grasp at random opportunities that came my way, not one night stand kind of opportunities, but the kind that ideally would keep my mind focused and I could fit in to my clinical obligations and etc...

I had started doing some medical writing and editing for a local nasdaq listed company based in jerusalem and by default i basically created myself the opportunity to jump up from a peon position to a peon position at the head of my division :-)

Actually, it's not so much this specifically that i'm referring to but everything happening in my life at the macro and micro level. whether we appreciate it or not everything that we touch, no matter how insignificant we think we are, is affected by us either positively or negatively. I think we can choose to have a neutral effect but that in itself can be positive or negative if it results in a very specific outcome.

I had a conversation with a colleague the other day about instant gratification as it relates to the middle east peace process. He felt strongly that nothing good could come before another 40-50 years of change, and I challenged this. But then his immediate response was that he didn't care to do anything now if he wouldn't personally see the results until 40-50 years from now, so that he felt that it was up to the children of the region to do something since they'll benefit not him. But the children aren't the ones who structure the programmes of normalization or put down the stones so that there are paths to walk across the river of resistance in this region. The children have a role, but so does he. I asserted the basic truism that some of the most valuable things in life take time to mature for us to benefit from and enjoy, not unlike the process of developing a good wine or cheese.

I guess there is instant gratification in the peace process too and that we see in the immediate response in events like the hug across jerusalem or to a greater effect in all the music for peace events that are so popular.

Next week the Maccabiah Games start in Israel. I used to be a quasi-professional athlete (up until 7 months ago) and have competed in every Maccabiah Games since I was a kid in 1993. My first games I went to compete in swimming and then after that became a triathlete. 7 months ago, while on a trip with the ex (shithead of any other name), I tore a ligament in my shoulder and it prevented me from swimming or lifting my arm for 7 months. I just got back in the water this week for the first time. The triathlon igud (association) offered to let me compete but I'm not entirely sure what I should do. If I miss it, it'll be the first games that I'll have missed since 93 despite the cancellation in 2001 for the intifada. But, I haven't been able to train in the pool so I'll have a lot of ground to make up time for on the bike and run. Then again, the Maccabiah is a huge social event and one of my major sponsors has donated 3 million to this years games. I should compete. but my shoulder isn't entirely healed and I don't have the millions of hours of training behind me that I've had in previous years.

Nevertheless, if I'm in or out, the Games will go on and it'll be hugely exciting in Israel this summer in more ways than one.