morning breaks

It's 4am. and I'm supposed to get up within the next hour, but I just kicked Don Juan out and sent him back to his own humble abode. He came over to say goodbye because he's leaving for 3 weeks in vietnam over Rosh Hashona and Yom Kippur. I still can't separate my mind and enjoy the moment with any particular guy. Even worse,I also still hate myself for missing terribly he who shall remain unnamed, the voldemort of relationships, especially since all my logic and reason tells me we should never cross paths ever again.