wiiiiiilma....

When I was a little kid, I'd often watch the flintstones and would marvel at how Fred would constantly get so strung out and wound up. It seemed to me that he was always yelling at fiery haired Wilma. Eventually the contrived conflicts and blasted bickering begun to bore me. It felt like a waste of time.

Now I live in a genuine conflict culture. My entire home region is populated by a people who live in constant conflict, with their neighbours, their work colleagues, their friends, and their families. Everyday I listen to stories of road rage, workplace rage, spousal rage, and so on and so forth.

A friend of mine once told me that if I ever felt frustrated or angered by the bad habits of someone close, I should think about how it might just be the flip side of their best habits as well. In which case, the thought would be able to help me better understand the situation and allow me to overlook detritus that would surely bother me. I try this all the time.

My personal approach to life is normally conflict adverse. I lean towards solving problems by removing my initial emotive response and focusing on the rational. But, this is not the best way to be when living in a society where conflict is desired, craved and valued as a method of problem resolution.

My compromise over the years has been to become more aware of my own needs and not be as willing to subterfuge myself in the name of conflict avoidance. I don't think this means I have to throw tantrums or bellow at the top of my lungs while pounding my fists into my chest and pointing my finger into someones face space.

But, at the same time, I don't want to always be fighting when my energy can produce so much more when I can direct it towards building and not destroying. It's interested to me since Israel has been so successful in many arenas, but, I think it has more to do with confidence, true skill, and professional absolutism than in conflict generation.